The Sweet Taste of Victory
by liketonkslovedlupin
Summary: Tonks was resigned to the fact she had lost the war that had been waging between herself and Lupin... which is why she could not comprehend what had possessed him to show up on her doorstep. One-shot.


**a/n- wotcher, everyone! this is my first fanfic so I'm crossing my fingers y'all enjoy it. It might be a bit confusing but I couldn't use any dashes or anything allowing me to separate my "views"- basically, I'm telling the story from both of their perspectives as it's happening. oh and the obvious disclaimer: the ever fabulous JKR owns all. I'm just OTP-obsessive... which I'm still undecided if that's a blessing or a curse but that's neither here nor there so on with the story! ;)**

It was following the hospital wing's bedside battle-in which a certain metamorphmagus named Nymphadora Tonks had allies in her attempt to convince him they deserved a chance at happiness together-that Remus Lupin felt closest to the absolute despair he had endured after James and Lily's deaths sixteen years previously. He had only just received the news that Dumbledore, the Order's beacon of light amidst a vast sea of black, had been murdered by none other than Severus Snape. Then there was Bill Weasley, who Lupin considered his best mate since Sirius's death, laid out unconscious in the aforementioned hospital bed due to being ravaged by the very werewolf who had ruined Lupin's own life.

This is why when Tonks and several fellow Order of the Phoenix members confronted Lupin, surrounded by Harry and a few of his friends no less, about he and Tonks's _personal _affairs, it only added to his distress. Lupin was mortified by this turn of events, distraught over the night's tragedies, and overwhelmed with exhaustion. With these emotions enveloping him, after offering his condolences to Fleur and the Weasley clan, he hastily exited the Hogwarts hospital wing.

Tonks figured she ought to have been accustomed to Lupin's rejections; in fact, she felt they had developed a depressing routine. But this particular evening's futile attempt at making Lupin accept at last that she did not care about his lycanthropy was different. After he readied his defenses and replied with his predictable refusal, a part inside of Nymphadora Tonks which had been withering for some time ultimately died.

This last denial from Lupin, combined with the crushing weight of grief over the loss of Dumbledore and a plaguing guilt because Tonks thought she could have somehow prevented Bill's mauling was what finally broke her. She felt such immense physical pain at her heartbreak it was as if someone was using the Cruciatus curse on her. She did not _want_ to give up on Lupin but the agony was too much to bear. Having him refuse her love yet again, with the example right in front of them of Fleur loving Bill regardless of his own brush with lycanthropy, Tonks was finally resigned to the fact she had lost the war that had been waging between herself and Lupin. It was then, after a soft squeeze to Bill's limp hand and a slightly tearful adieu to those who remained at his bedside, she departed the hospital wing with the sole intent of ridding herself once and for all of her feelings for Lupin. The impossible had to be done.

Lupin heard the distinct crack of someone who had just apparated. He glanced up, wracked with nerves, from the stoop on which he was perched and barely managed to croak out, "Dora." He watched as the body he had come to know every inch of stopped suddenly and stand rigid, silhouetted against the infinite blackness of the night sky. He stood slowly from his position on the middle step. Tonks had yet to acknowledge him, besides her abrupt halt when he called her name, so Lupin was worried she would disapparate without allowing him the chance to explain why he was on her doorstep.

Tonks, watching her step as she was liable to trip over thin air, was closing the distance between herself and her building entrance when she heard her name hoarsely whispered from the absolute last person she expected to find at her flat. Not after what had just transpired in the Hogwarts hospital wing anyway. Tonks froze midstride, refusing to look up. Her heart was beating so loudly she briefly wondered if Lupin's heightened senses made the thumping audible to him, too. She could not comprehend what had possessed him to show up on her doorstep; was it to refuse her once more, to explain he's too old, too poor, and too dangerous and employ the same phrase he'd worn out so long ago: "I'm sorry"?

After what felt like an eternity to the both of them, Lupin walked cautiously to where Tonks stood as if she had been Petrified, her hands balled into fists. With just a moment's hesitation, he began, "Dora, I've come because after I left Hogwarts tonight, I couldn't do anything but think about you and what giving you up would truly mean."

Tonks finally raised her head, her slate grey (for the moment) eyes locking with Lupin's cerulean own, searching them for the meaning behind his words. She didn't dare speak; she desperately needed to understand why he had come.

"Of course I've considered this in the past but my worries would win out, time and time again. I would realize how much more you deserved than a tarnished old man who can barely keep a roof over his head," Lupin sighed, still staring into her eyes. He tentatively reached out his hand and brought it to her cheek, slowly grazing his thumb back and forth along her smooth creamy skin. Taking a steadying breath he continued, "Yet I always returned to you; I couldn't stay away. And after everything that happened tonight, I've realized our lives are far too brief and unpredictable to live without each other. No matter how much I feel you deserve better, I need you. If you could just forgive me-"

But Lupin's plea for forgiveness was suddenly cut short as Tonks threw her arms around his neck, tangled her small hands in his grey-streaked hair, and fervently kissed him. She thought to herself, "Victory at last."


End file.
